annoyedso i just found out that i wont be a senior at the start of the year. go me and my freaking accomplishments. i knew that i should of pushed my guidance counsaler to let me take an extra online class. she was so rude about it...deciding my fate an how my summer would turn out. she told me that i needed to have fn this summer along with my classes. NO. I WOULD RATHER BE A SENIOR THIS UPCOMING SEMEMSTER BUT NO. I WOULD SIT ONT HE COMPUTER FOR 5 DAYS AWEEK OR MORE NON STOP JUST TO BE A SENIOR. but no. she knows whats best. always. my sheduale is messed up too. i was gonna graduate with ap hono but now im not because they dont think im capable. i know i am. its like they just gave up on me when i finally know what i gotta do. this is bullshit.
im pissed off and reaallllllly fucking annoyed right now.
<3
my day was kinda blah. i was really anoyed at all these ppl that kept being rude to me- i ean, are the always rude....and i jus never took notice? ugh. it really made me mad how i was being talked down to today. i was ready to scream in someone's face. but aas...i didnt.
i have my first day on te job...kinda. at long john silver's/a&w. its training day....i dont feel good- but its money and i have to go. 
le sigh. i'll write more another time. <3 luffs.
To forworn everyone who reads this- this is a place for my thoughts...and if i hurt your feelings or offend you in anyway...i don't realy care...this is for me not you. so boo.
anyways...today was pretty shitty. trey left for good and my bio dad will have full custody of him now...*shivers*
i hte that he left. i was sobbing practically half the day. practice was monsterous....i couldn't focuss and missed my cues twice. no good to have my mind twenty different places a day before the show starts.
atleast my fellow cast members make me feel a little better. they ♥ me and make me laugh and hug me when im down. it was a nice break from the hectic day.
our play is going to be spectacular. beauty and the beast- springstead style,yo. lol. i love my costume(and the attention i get in it....) who knew being a french maid could reap such looks from ppl? lol. i guess i knew it...but didnt want to think about it wat first..lol.
im slightly crushing on my male counterpart in the play...but he's kinda the preppy type and very head over heels for this senior chic (no names mentioned *cha*). ehh. he's nice and funny but i really still despise boys at the moment.(for 9 months...im bitter).
i can't see anyone around me being able to take care of me the way i need them to. im not spoiled or anything...i just reaaally need my boyfriend(hypothetically speaking..as in if i had one that is...) to be able to listen to me gripe about my family and the horrible things they say to each other. im the one in the family who is calm and listens to everyones ish. my friends aren't emoitionally stable enough to take care of me..and listen to MY ish...so i need a guy who can listen to me and hold me when i need it.
not that i'd do it all the time...just every other three weeks maybe.
i dont understand all these weak men around me...i really dont. where are all the strong hearted and minded ones? do they really bloody exist?
hmmm...*ponders* i hope so.
with love my dears....
jess
